The rogue stepped from behind the building and attempted to stroll nonchalantly
across the open market place in North Freeport. She felt like she was walking around
naked. She spent so much time hiding in the shadows, sneaking around corners, that
walking around like an honest citizen left her feeling vulnerable and queasy. She
fixed a large open smile to her face and headed, in what she hoped was a confident
manner, toward the bank. She repeated in her head, "If you act like you belong,
they won't notice you. If you act like you belong, they won't notice you." The guard
at the door looked at her once and then twice as she opened the door. Just as she
prepared to let out the breath, she hadn't realized she'd been holding, she felt
a hand on her elbow.
"What in the nine hells do you think you're doing, Shomya?" Shomya quickly turned
around and saw no one.
"Down here! Don't make me kick you in the ankle again." It was Braxos the tiny self-proclaimed
King of all Gnome Necromancers. Shomya had been annoyed by him one too many times
and at the moment didn't care to see him.
"So why do you look all nervous, Shomya? You're not thinking of knocking off the
bank, are you hehehe?" Suddenly Shomya got a horrific look in her eyes.
"By the blood of Bertox!" Braxos continued, "You are gonna steal from the bank!"
"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WOULD EVEN CONSIDER DOING THAT WITHOUT ME!"
Shomya, sensing a tiny gnome tantrum about to erupt, decided to tell Brax her plan...
She moved Braxos to a quiet corner of the square. She wanted to remain inconspicuous,
but it was hard to do when her gnome friend was yelling, "Who wants to group to
rob the bank!" One quick kick to the shin stopped that noise.
"Ok this is what I need you to do," said Shomya in a confident and determined voice.
"Take this and stand behind Guard Hatrack over there."
"Um ok, but what do I need this for?" said Braxos, confused.
She began to explain but felt no need, because as far as she was concerned, it was
obvious. Then all of the sudden, the constant noise of people shuffling in and out
of the square was broken up by a sudden disturbance.
A man of slight build moving at a speed that seemed too swift for normal legs came
bursting into the square. If he was seen out on the Plains of Karana, he would have
seemed graceful but in the tight corners of the city full of people, this was disastrous.
Daffious the Ranger came around the corner, hit a table full of goods, spun right
and just missed a family of locals that were busy doing their shopping for the week.
Young Brian, a member of that family, was a bit of a prankster himself. He stuck
out his leg causing Daffious to make an additional lunge right at Braxos, causing
the object he was holding to go flying under the fruit cart behind him.
Shomya was getting a bit upset about this time, but before she could hit the ranger,
Daffious says, "I have news for you Shomya from Ak'Anon. Oh, and I am sorry for
the mess. Hello, Braxos, how are you? What were you doing with that thing anyways?
Oh never mind. You two must come with me and we must hurry the boat is leaving soon."
The trio moved from the crowded square to the East Freeport Docks, trying to avoid
looking suspicious under the watchful eyes of the city guards.
At the dock, Daffy announced, "The zoo is in town!"
"No," said Shomya. "That polar bear at the docks looks familiar." Braxos and Daffious
looked worried. Then they realised who the white bear was, with his big pointy stick
with a feather on it, a stack of Chocolate chip cookies, and a popup spell book.
Gallain the shaman (or polar bear) was quietly sunning himself on the docks when
the trio rushed up to him and tried to steal the stack of cookies.
"Grrrrrrrooooowwwwwl," said the bear. "Hands off my cookies - oh hi there folks
- want one?"
"Where are you all off to in a rush - you haven't just robbed the bank, have you?"
At that moment, a voice with psychotic undertones decided to speak up behind Gallain,
"I'd like a COO-KIEeeee."
The four turned around rapidly to face an imposing figure. Well, all of them except
for Braxos who turned around to face a human skull.
"Jobaner!" cried Braxos, who wrapped his tiny arms lovingly around the Staff of
Discord, "I thought I'd lost you forever!"
At this, the group's astonishment at seeing a Priest of Discord move (let alone
speak) was abated in favor of mirth as the little gnome was lifted into the air
effortlessly by the super-human priest.
"Wha-- Hey! Let me down!"
Shomya stood back from the commotion caused by the large white polar bear, the clutzy
Ranger, and the dangling Gnome. She chewed a fingernail and thought of how she was
going to get inside the Freeport bank vault. It was a big job and one that she relished.
Ever since her first trip to Freeport, she had eyed that vault and wondered how
much of its contents she could carry. And now someone was willing to pay her to
get inside it. It was like a gift from Bristlebane.
Her handy lockpicks were in her pack, but she had heard of a new kind of lockpick,
ones that sped up the process of getting past locked doors. She eyed Braxos thoughtfully
as he continued to kick his legs in the air, shouting. A Gnome and some mechanical
stuff equals mechanical lockpicks, she thought.
Her thoughts were brought back to the present situation by a strange humming that
grew in intensity and then the sound of a small Gnome necromancer bouncing along
the dock.
Obviously the small necromancer bouncing along the dock was Braxos being chucked
across the dock by the Priest of Discord.
It was little known to any of them that this PoD was the mighty Gnome Chucker of
Freeport, but that is a story for another time.
Daffious said, "Come on people, we have to get moving!" in an urgent manner. After
calming the necro down, the five set out on the boat in a long and boring journey,
broken up by the occasional sea sickness felt by all. Daffious looked up into the
sky and swore they were heading east. "Must be the sea sickness taking effect,"
he thought.
Arriving at Butcherblock, they sat down to eat. When out of nowhere, Daffious felt
a sharp pain in his back. Startled, he yelled and stood up fast disturbing everyone's
meal they were not enjoying anyways after having been seasick for a few hours. To
Daffy's amazement, he turned and saw...
...the Great Weezard Speef, looking somewhat annoyed at the intrusion. He was looking
sweaty and tired, yet handsomely tall-foreheaded.
"You Loonies nearly interrupted my Gnomicide spell... if you'd arrived a minute
earlier, there would still be Gnomes on the face of Norrath, fools!", snarled the
wizzie. "Thank your lucky stars you did not arrive sooner."
With that, he vanished in a puff of disgruntled smoke, leaving only a giant glowing
G with a circle around it and a line through it behind. This too, rapidly faded
from view.
"Eeee...." said Braxos, fading from view.
"I thought I heard a Gnome squeak?", questioned the keen-eared Shomya.
"A what?" asked the rest of the party, nearly in unison.
"I... I forget... I thought I heard a Gnome... but that's silly", she replied.
"I heard a Yuppie, too."
"And I, a Gargantuan Googly-Eyed-Googlon."
"Hark, an honest banker!"
As the party laughed at Shomya, she sighed, thumbed her dagger meditatively, and
led the foursome onward.
"Okay Daffious, what's the story?" Shomya stopped in the middle of the path and
turned to the Ranger, who tripped over his own foot and went sprawling to the ground.
Gallain pulled Daffious to a standing position and picked his sword up from the
dirt, handing it back to him. "Well," Daffious said. "There's a rumor circulating
around Butcherblock that..."
"That some crazy suicidal gnome named Spiff wants to erase all gnomes from the face
of Norrath and that he had been informed in the Karanas that he had to stop him
and if he came too late, that he had to reverse the spell."
At this the group (even the PoD, who seldom ever laughs) began to laugh at Daffious
for this very stupid quest of stopping Spiff from erasing all of gnomekind.
Gallain then turned to where Brax was gnawing on his iron ration and stated, "Heh
Brax, isn't that the stupidest thing you've ever heard?" "Umm... Brax???"
The party began to realize that the little gnome had just vanished, as if he was
erased. Immediately everyone turned to Daffy and shouted, "How do we bring them
back!?!?!?"
Shomya began to realize that she had more important things to do than knock off
the Freeport bank. She realized that she must lead this rag-tag band of adventurers
to bring back the good lil' gnomes like Wazu, Vintner, Gnymble, and yes even the
poor misunderstood Braxos.
Of course after the gnomes were brought back, Shomya would have to knock off the
bank, but first she would have to find the very important tool she gave to Braxos.
Too bad he doesn't exist anymore.
Daffious then continued to inform the party, "To bring the gnomes back, we will
have to go to the now empty Ak'Anon and...
...engage in hundreds of years of genetic research to produce a stumpy, big-headed,
bald offshoot of dwarves."
Daffy quickly tired of this idea and suggested that the party instead develop a
method of synthesizing artificial walnuts, or go and slay whoever was responsible
for Fish Cakes.
Neither of these ideas went over well either, and the party sat, indecisive, until...
...a wood elf pops on the docks in front of them.
"Hello there! Do you know when the boat is supposed to come? I was thinking about
slaying some furbies in OOT!"
Gallain looked at the wood elf, and then an idea popped in his mind... "Mandi, what
about taking us all to Steamfont Mountains instead? We are on a retrieving gnomes
mission."
The wood elf sat down, her mind seeming to wander blindly... Then she stoop up quickly
on her feet and said, "Come on one, come on all! Let's go to Steamfont Mountains."
A portal of wind suddenly appeared and took them all away.
After Daffious awoke from the experience of the port and threw up, he looked about
him. Vast snow and ice were about him in all directions. The wind was cold as ice
and it made him shiver. "Does anyone know why we are in The Great Divide?"
"Mandi, why are we here?" Shomya asked.
"No, I set up the right coordinates before we took off. I know that!" Mandi said.
Gallain looked Daffious and asked, "Are you tracking anything odd?" "Yes," Daffy
said. "And it's real close!" "I know," Gallain agreed. "Because it is standing right
there!" A sinister laugh engulfed the party.
The party looked over and saw...
...a snow bunny hopping along...
...and everyone stopped to look around for Ttimm the Enchanter. Not seeing him about,
Daffious shot the bunny and set to cleaning it.
"Odd how snow bunny meat isn't edible," said Daffious, "But I'm sure it can be made
into something."
Meanwhile on other continents, goblins were boiling from their lairs: from Nurga
and Droga in Frontier Mountains, from their caves near Ill Omen and everywhere goblins
live underground. In Misty Thicket, the goblins threatened to overwhelm the Deputies
and reinforcements were called from Rivervale to defend the Wall. In the Lavastorm
Mountains, goblins and kobolds found themselves with free reign but unable to go
anywhere else. The followers of Solusek Ro were well able to defend their temple.
Najena had rallied her people to defend her home, and the dark elves, after finding
themselves beset by invaders from the north had pushed them back to the pass to
Lavastorm and were holding them there. In Eastern Wastes, the Great Divide, Wakening
Lands and anywhere there were caves, Tizmaks and Kodiaks and Shardwurms were driven
from their homes to wander the surface in confusion. In High Keep, the goblins were
wiped out in a matter of minutes, screaming about "neauxms" or somesuch. Word of
this was given to the Antonican Bards to spread, but few people gave it any thought.
Meanwhile, the party...
".... you are right Daffy - you can cook the snow rabbit. I think it is a jugs of
sauces, some spices and...well just throw it in the pot and stir it about - maybe
it will be edible..."
"Any one got a beer?"
Shomya passed a bottle of Light Haven Ale to Gallain and then took a swig off her
own. She tried to remember how the hell she got from attempting to break into the
Freeport Bank vault to sitting in the snow in Great Divide, freezing her cheeks.
Her memories were disjointed and confusing. Something about Gnomes disappearing
(Where IS that Braxos? she thought) and there seemed to be an unusual number of
Tizmaks wandering past the port ring. She took another drink and pondered this.
Soon her eyes lost focus and rolled back in her head. Shomya slumped backwards into
the snowbank, her Light Haven Ale foaming in a slightly green manner.
Gallain grunted and tipped over, making a large bear-shaped dent in the snow. Daffious
looked up from his preparations, "Knock it off, Gallain. This is a delicate soup
I'm putting together here..." His words trailed off. Two of his party were unconscious
from forces unknown, leaving four to perhaps defend themselves from the very large
group of Tizmaks now approaching the camp. Daffious stood and readied his bow. He
estimated there being at least thirty warriors approaching walking towards him.
The Tizmaks stopped and one broke free from the front and approached the Ranger.